


A sin for him, desire within

by impalaforthree



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Deepthroating, In a way, M/M, Magical Healing Cock, Marathon Sex, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Pre-Thor (2011), Somnophilia, how do you tag sex oh god, i don't know just a bunch of messed up stuff, magical healing come
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-27 22:20:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16711111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalaforthree/pseuds/impalaforthree
Summary: Nothing can seem to wake Loki, and with no idea of what happened to him, no one knows how to fix it either.Thor frets and worries, and then finds that there are temptations not even he can resist. Specially when it comes to his brother.





	A sin for him, desire within

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Estivate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estivate/gifts).



> I never expected filthy smut to be what I put out there as my first ever fic, but there it is. No one is more surprised than me.

No one was quite sure what had happened. An attack, an accident, a curse, sheer bad luck, the most generous said. A dark ritual performed by a sorcerer they all knew to be a bit too presumptuous, the rumours whispered, probably some dark magics going against the Norns who had taken their revenge. Thor hasn’t heard these directly, but he knows what it means when people cease their gossip when he walks by. Everyone knows better than to speak ill of the youngest prince of Asgard in Thor’s presence.

*

What they know is that one day Loki hadn’t joined them for breakfast, hadn’t attended council, was not in the library. When Thor had finally gone looking he had found him lying on the floor in the middle of his room, as if asleep, with scattered pieces of a broken vial all around him.

He had relaxed when he’d felt his pulse and couldn't find sign of blood or injury on him, but then felt an increasing uneasiness as he kneeled down by his side and failed to wake him up, no matter what he tried.

The healers had been fetched, and they’d shared concerned looks and explored the prince for hours. Nothing was technically wrong with him, they said when they came out of his room at last. Loki was healthy, his breathing and heart rate were regular, pupillary reflexes responsive, muscle tone normal. There was no damage to his body or organs, and his brain was active, but apparently looped in a sleep cycle that they weren’t capable of shaking him out of.

They suggested rest and close observation of any further changes, while they investigated the possible cause.

And that was that.

*

The first week, Thor had refused to see his brother. He had resentfully moped about the palace, being curt with everyone and avoiding most of his responsibilities in favour of the training grounds. Eventually, his mother had tracked him down and lectured him extensively, pointing out loudly and publicly how childishly he was acting and how she expected better from him.

The second week, Thor had been angry. He’d visited Loki every day, yelled at him, tried to guilt him into waking up, pointedly ignored him while sitting at his bedside for the entire afternoon. When Loki still hadn’t opened his eyes, the possibility of him never waking finally occurred to him as more than a distant hypothetical. So for another day he wailed and cried himself dry, and then resorted to begging.

Naturally, that worked just as well as everything else had.

*

After that, he’d been unable to go without seeing Loki every day, for hours at a time. He felt distracted and apathetic, and every second away from his brother was a second in which he could wake up or take a turn for the worse. The idea of losing Loki and never knowing why, never being able to take revenge, was unbearable. He was not supposed to be without his brother. Ever since they were kids they had unthinkingly planned for a future side by side. Their love had only grown as they themselves did, and only when Thor’s affection had become… tainted he had stopped seeking his brother’s company as often as he used to. Loki had been confused and hurt, he knew, but they were confidants and partners still, just not as inseparable as they used to.

That it was Loki’s sleep that had brought them so close together again felt like a cruel joke. Whatever the case, being anywhere else made Thor itch with anxiety, and his unpredictability made everyone else tense and uncomfortable in turn. He had started spending his evenings in Loki’s chamber, working or just watching over that beloved, peaceful face. He lingered after dark, using the time to catch up with paperwork he usually put off, and feeling more and more reluctant to leave Loki alone at the end of the day. Loki painted a sad picture, lonely and small in his big bed, dead quiet. He was almost easy to miss, pale as he was against the white bedsheets, when before Loki would have never let himself be ignored, becoming sharp and inescapable if he felt Thor’s attention drifting anywhere else.

One night, he simply can't bring himself to leave. What if whatever was consuming Loki from the inside finished its work overnight, and he came back in the morning to find his little brother cold and unbreathing? It isn’t hard to convince himself to stay when he so wants to be convinced, and he is quick to strip down to his pants and loose shirt and join Loki under the covers, kissing his cheek goodnight as he has done every night since this affliction started.

The next morning he feels undeniably better rested, and that same day he transports some of his clothes and toiletries to Loki’s chambers, taking definitive residence in his brother’s room, and ignoring the pitying looks his friends direct at him when they are told.

Even that doesn't make the restlessness go away. Life in the castle goes on and he can’t shake a certain bitterness about it, wondering why no one else notices the Loki shaped hole that follows him around. He needs his brother desperately, feels directionless, and he tells him in broken pleas every night, with no result.

*

Only in sleep he finds some sort of reprieve.

In his dreams, Loki is always awake. He also looks younger, less guarded, more innocently mischievous. In his dreams, they go on adventures together, with Loki riding wild in front of him, black hair battling the wind, both of them laughing carefree. Or they lounge for hours in one of their rooms, trying dessert after dessert while they gossip or share knowing looks. Or they play-wrestle each other, full of fake animosity, only to end up rolling on the ground, exhausted but joyous.

Sometimes, in his dreams, a young looking Loki sneaks up on him in the middle of the night and sits on his lap, fair skin even paler in the moonlight; he wears a nightgown that has tormented Thor since they were teenagers and, very slowly, he allows it to fall open and drop to the ground.

Sometimes, after their dreamed selves are done wrestling, Thor pins Loki down on the ground, claims his mouth and ruts against him like a beast, while Loki moans his name until they come all over themselves.

Sometimes, Thor eats desserts lovingly fed to him by Loki, and he tastes his brother’s fingertips with the tip of his tongue before sucking them inside his mouth, watching Loki’s eyes darken in front of him.

And sometimes, when they dismount, Thor pushes Loki down on all fours and rips his clothes off, and he fucks him rough and fast; fucks the innocence right out of him and growls in his ear that he belongs to him, again, and again.

If he is being honest, it’s been a while since Thor last had a dream that drown him in shame once he woke up.

*

Tonight he wakes up from one such dream, panting and too feverish for his own skin. The images from the dream apparently engraved in the back of his eyelids, he can’t stop seeing miles of naked skin and lips and the shadow of a dark head bobbing up and down.

He knows he can’t go back to sleep in this state, and were he in his own chambers he’d take care of himself right then and there, surrender to his want and leave the mess and embarrassment to deal with in the morning.

But he is in bed with Loki, and even now he is reluctant to leave him alone, feeling the pull more than ever, irrationally worried that something worse will happen to him if he has no one to watch over him.

His little brother, who hasn’t awakened in over a month now.

What are the chances that he will wake up precisely now, he tells himself. It’s not like he will ever know.

Second guessing his own choices is not for him, and before he can feel the wrong settling in his bones he pushes his pants out of the way and takes himself in hand. There is no place for gentleness right now, he goes fast, chasing the scenes of the dream in his imagination, pumping himself almost violently.

He’s barely aware of searching for it, but suddenly his free hand finds Loki’s empty one, and grabs it. It fits perfectly inside his own. His brother’s skin is warm, of course it is, he is covered in blankets at all times by his own command. He must be this warm everywhere else too, he is sure, and he’d probably be so warm inside as well, clenching around him, taking him to the hilt--

Thor comes like thunder, already in overdrive from his dream, shivers tingling all over his body from the place where his skin touches Loki’s. He gasps, out of breath, out of energy. He lets go of Loki’s hand, which he is grasping so tight it takes a second for his muscles to obey. He takes off his shirt, cleans the come off his chest hastily, and throws it to the floor.

And then he closes his eyes and, with a mind surprisingly blank, he falls asleep.

*

Loki is still sleeping the next day. Thor wakes up and goes about his day while the doctors check on him tiredly, and assure Thor as always that his brother remains stable and his status unchanging, and there is probably no need to run a complete diagnose every single day. As always, he brushes them off.

But this time, he can’t shake the thought. He trains and thinks of his brother’s supine, unmoving body, of his closed eyes. He eats lunch with his mother and remembers how he didn’t even twitch as he took his pleasure right beside him, touching him. He attends council and thinks of touching him more.

It’s not like he will ever know.

*

He spends the entire day talking himself into it, so that when he retires for the night that evening there is no doubt in his mind. He locks the door and takes care of all his business, deliberately slow, feeling a twisted anticipation building inside. He’s not planning anything terrible. Loki will remain unaware, and maybe he will be able to get this sick desire out of his chest, and eventually Loki will wake up and their brotherhood will go back to the easy, loving relationship it once was.

Once he is ready for bed he strips naked and pulls the blankets fully off of Loki. He looks at him for a minute, entranced at how beautiful he is even now, like this. Then he settles astride his thighs, careful not to crush Loki with his weight, and grabs his own cock, already painfully hard and leaking.

He starts slow, building up a rhythm as he lets his eyes trail languorously up and down his brother’s body. The sleeping clothes he wears are thin and allow Loki’s shape to show through in a game of chiaroscuros, but maybe he should’ve taken them off before he started, to allow his gaze to wander further, maybe next time… Next time he could rub himself against the milky skin that Loki hardly ever reveals to anyone else, paint it white with his spend.

The image comes to mind, clear and detailed, as it is not the first time that Thor has imagined such a thing, but it’s certainly the closest he’s ever been to making it a reality. He groans as he fastens his movements and slumps forward, catching himself on his elbow and resting his forehead against Loki’s. He looks down and those inviting lips are right there and it’s almost a kindness to lean down and take them, kissing his brother reverently, the only way he should ever be kissed. Loki still doesn’t respond but it doesn’t matter, Thor nips gently at his lips, tugs until it stings and licks it better, lavishes his brother’s mouth until it’s obscenely wet and shiny when he draws back.

He stays close, sharing their breath as he comes with a muffled yell.

Then rolls onto his side and buries his face in the crook of Loki’s neck. The clothes are ruined now, and he’ll have to deal with them himself, least the servants start asking questions.

It seems undressing Loki fully the next time is the best option, after all.

*

He is eager to go back to their shared rooms the next day. The morning drags on terribly and the afternoon even more so, and he is vibrating with badly concealed excitement when he finally makes his way home.

“Good evening, Loki,” he greets as he walks in and locks the door.

He started talking to him everyday because of Frigga, who insisted they should keep him up to date with the news of the kingdom. Resolutely ignoring how the healers assured them that Loki couldn’t hear or understand anything they told him in his current state.

He stops by the bed to press a kiss on his brother’s mouth.

“I realise I was selfish yesterday,” he continues as he puts his things away. “So self centered, I barely paid any attention to your needs at all. Don’t worry, I’ll amend that today.”

He wastes no time stripping Loki of his clothes and disposing of his own, and making himself comfortable straddling his hips.

“I want you to feel good as well, Loki. There is no reason why this has to be only about me.”

He realises he is being ridiculous, of course. He isn’t sure why he thinks this will make the situation any better, but maybe he won’t feel as guilty if he can convince himself that Loki will get something out of it as well. 

And deep down, he longs to touch.

He takes his time admiring. Even limp and vulnerable Loki’s body is a beautiful thing, and the right to possess it a worthy enough reason to lead kingdoms to war, he thinks.

He leans forward to kiss the curve of his teasing clavicle, his neck, and then he luxures for a long time in his mouth, exploring it hungrily. He starts his way downward, biting and licking strips of skin that glisten faintly when he leaves them behind.

He reaches his brother’s cock and can’t hold back a reverent moan. It rests flaccid and small at the crook of his groin and Thor is helpless as he guides it into his mouth, sucking eagerly and sloppy, retreating to cradle it in his fist and then going down again. He loses track of time as he works his brother, but when he pulls off Loki is still soft. “This is not enough for you, brother, is it? You’ve always been greedy,” he chuckles, fond, drunk in Loki’s scent. “It’s alright, I know just the thing.”

He barely has to move to reach for the oil that he had left prepared on the nightstand. He nudges Loki’s legs apart and they fall boneless to the side with no effort at all.

“This will feel good,” Thor says before he goes back to licking at the testicles, and at the same time he brings a hand covered in oil to his brother’s ass, finding his entrance and breaching it in one steady push. He moans around the skin in his mouth and soon gets lost in the rhythm. He only stops sucking to get more oil in his hand and add more fingers, slow and gentle but relentless, until the fourth one joins the others and the pressure in his own cock becomes too much to stand.

He raises onto his knees and pants to catch his breath, brings his clean hand to caress Loki’s face and tuck the hair behind his ear.

“Let me get you more comfortable, brother.”

His strong arms have no difficulty in turning Loki around on his stomach, carefully laying his head on the pillow. He lowers himself on his back, maneuvering his dick so it can slide easily between the sleek cheeks. He bites down on the tender skin of the shoulder as he rocks his hips with abandon, and it’s good, but he needs-- more, more friction, more heat, more of Loki.

It’s not enough.

He swallows a frustrated yell before it can escape and slows his movements, enveloping the body beneath his in an embrace. Holding on. His eyes are closed tight, and he tries desperately to remember why he shouldn't continue, but it was a lost battle before it even started.

“Just this once,” he mutters to Loki as much as to himself. “Just this once, you will let me, Loki, won’t you? It’s only so I can get this out of me, and I’m sure you won’t mind, you’re always so good to me, always have been.”

His hands shake as he spreads Loki’s cheeks apart, and they still shake when he guides himself to his hole.

He stares, almost unbelieving, lets the poisonous spark of dread take hold for a few seconds - if he does this…

It’s easy to shut it up.

He slides in and Loki stretches around him, accommodating his girth easily although he needs several pushes in order to fit his entire length inside. Once he is in to the hilt he collapses on Loki’s back, his entire body trembling like a tense spring, overwhelmed. He covers every part of Loki he can reach with kisses, or maybe they are sobs, but gods, gods it felt so good. It wasn’t possible that he’d been born to be anywhere other than here.

“And you must have been born to take me in, brother, see how good this feels, how perfectly I fill you,” he chokes out.

It’s going to take no time at all. He can’t stop staring at where his cock slides in and out of Loki, finding its way so easily. He’s overheated and crazed, rocking his hips without grace or control, chasing release and when he reaches it, Loki takes greedily everything he has to offer.

Thor falls to the mattress on his side and gazes at Loki’s face, dumbstruck. He kisses the corner of his mouth tenderly.

“Thank you, Loki.”

When he falls asleep they are entangled together.

*

The next few days flow by. He focuses in his duties in the mornings and keeps his mother company in the afternoons. In the night, he takes obsessive care of Loki, bringing him every possible comfort, as if that could somehow erase the terrible reality of what he’s done.

Eventually, Eir suggests pointedly that since his highness is so devoted to his brother’s well being anyway, perhaps the healers could go back to taking care of the overcrowded infirmary. At this point, anything more than a weekly examination of the young prince won’t bring any better results. Thor has no option but to agree.

And so the days pass in a sort of numb tension in which the guilt eats at him from the inside. But a week has passed, and Loki looks the same, and nothing changes, and it downs on Thor that… no repercussions will come from his transgression. There is no punishment coming. No one knows of what he did, and were it to happen again, no one would know either.

And as the restlessness fades slowly at the realisation, he is forced to admit that it was fear what he was feeling, more than shame.

*

After that, his resolve lasts all of two more days. It weakens every time he remembers the feeling that washed over him the moment he came inside of Loki — how glorious to let himself go with absolute abandon, how overflowing with love he felt.

This time, when he goes back to Loki he is almost timid. He apologises, for lying to him when he said it would only happen once, and he is gentle in every touch as he lays Loki bare in front of him and prepares him carefully to take him. He spends in Loki’s body several times, and each one brings forth an incredibly improper feeling of relief, that he gets to exhaust this opportunity and all it has to offer. He thinks of how much bliss he could bring to Loki if his brother would allow him this once he awoke again, how patiently he would guide him, how good they would make each other feel. He kisses and worships every part of him, sees sparks of electricity surging from his fingers into Loki’s skin, wet with Thor’s own sweat.

And when he has finished, he rests peacefully, his brain still immersed in the fog, and his entire body washed in satisfaction.

*

“You seem less likely to bite the head off anyone who looks at you wrong today,” Sif remarks several days later as they warm up before training.

“He has yet to make a poor servant run away in fear with just a glare,” Fandral adds, elbowing him in the side with a wink.

“Whatever you are doing, keep it up, Thor,” Volstagg says. “Some people, and I’m not saying names, suggested that maybe action should be taken if you continued to behave so unpleasantly.”

“That was me, I said that,” Sif promptly says, before Thor even has time to be outraged at such a threat. She raises an eyebrow in challenge when he doesn’t reply, and he offers his palms in defense with a chuckle.

“Alright, friends, you’ve made your point. I was acting like a moron, and I apologise.”

“You are feeling better though, Thor?” Hogun intervenes for the first time, and the question is reflected in the faces of the others. He smiles.

“Yes, my friends. Things are better now.”

*

And they are.

It’s a comfort to feel so close to Loki again. In the past years they have on many occasions gone weeks without seeing each other; Thor gone on some heroic quest, Loki absorbed by his spells and research. Now, however, Thor knows exactly where his brother will be at the end of the day.

Some days he retires eager to sink into the comfort of Loki’s body, to leave marks on the pale flesh and pump his seed in his pliant brother.

Some mornings, he wakes up still carefully buried into Loki’s ass, his cock kept warm inside his body through the night. He noses sleepily at the back of his neck, and the light friction and the scent of his hair are enough to get his blood running, and he fucks him again, fast, feeling how his load from the night before eases the way and enjoying the wet sounds that are proof of what they’ve done.

But many other days he is tired and weary when the night comes, and all he wants is to lie down by Loki’s side and take comfort in his company. It is a different type of contentment that he feels when he joins Loki in bed, just to finish some work or simply lie around for a few hours before hugging him close as he dozes off.

He is happy taking care of him, washing him and administering whatever medicine the healers are testing that particular week. And he talks to him for hours. From inane chatter to worries and concerns that he’s longed to share with him, he goes on and on and he’s only starting to understand how much Loki’s presence had been missing at his side, and how he’d wanted to confide in him.

*

Today has been a dreadful day, he’s been lectured by his father and defeated in the training grounds, and he’s happy to gather all the knowledge he’s accumulated and keep Loki warm in bed as he takes him slowly, making it last, shifting him into every position he can think of. By this point he thinks his brother’s asshole should have milked him dry already, and he is grateful for the fertility magic that allows him to always have more to give to Loki.

They’ve been fucking for hours, and now Thor is comfortably reclined against the headboard of the bed with Loki on his lap as he thrusts up into him, slow and lazy now that the urgency of the first days has mostly gone.

Loki’s weight is almost insignificant, the month he’s been in bed has already taken its toll. His face looks the same still but Thor can tell that he’s lost muscle from the lack of activity, and Loki was already so thin to begin with. He grabs him tight, then, irrationally afraid as if a particularly strong wind could spirit him away, covering as much of his body as he can in his embrace.

Loki is being fed, of course, every day he is made to swallow the juice of one of Idunn’s apples, enough to keep him nourished and his organism from failing, but apparently not to prevent the loss of weight.

And while he's always been slim, he seems so fragile now, so delicate. He can close his hands entirely around his elegant wrists, and it feels as if they would snap if only he squeezed just a hair tighter.

He never would, of course. This is Thor’s baby brother, the light of his life, his treasured little snake, and it is his duty to protect him always. He murmurs this against his neck, soft reassurances of love and adoration intermingled with harsh pants and sloppy kisses as he fucks up into Loki’s now loose hole. If nothing else, Loki should know this: that Thor would never let anything bad happen to him. That he’ll be forever by his side to take care of him.

Now, more than ever.

*

“Aren’t you getting tired of being in the palace, honey?”, Frigga asks as they walk together one afternoon.

“Why do you say that, mother?”

“Well, it’s been a while now since you’ve left Asgard. You always get so antsy when you are forced to stay put for too long. What a mess you would make of our poor atmosphere when you were a kid and we wouldn’t let you join our soldiers.”

“I thought everyone would be happy that I’m not running around wreaking havoc with my friends,” Thor jokes.

“It certainly has been peaceful,” Frigga replies, affecting a dreamy tone before sobering. “But I mean it. I know you’re worried, but the last thing I want is for you to, to languish away inside the castle. Someone else could watch over Loki for a few days if you need some time outside,” she suggests.

“It really is no bother. Father isn’t giving me much to do, and I’m finally reading all those political treatises that he is always going on about. It’s good having time to rest for once.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” she says softly. “And as long as you’ll let me know if you need a break. We all know how you get when you’re upset. All sulky and taciturn... no one wants to deal with that,” she finishes, pinching his cheek.

“Thank you, mother, I truly feel appreciated--”

“I am only saying the truth, son--”

“But this can hardly be considered a long period of time,” he goes on, ignoring how she’s openly laughing at him now. “And just imagine how smug Loki will feel when he wakes up and finds that he’s had me at his beck and call all this time,” at this, Frigga starts smiling, with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“His only disappointment will be that he didn’t get to see it.”

*

It’s been almost two months since Loki fell into his slumber. Thor had come back to their room after dark planning on following their usual routine, but then had noticed that Loki’s hole was still rubbed red and irritated from a particularly rough treatment that morning. Thor didn’t have it in himself to take him again when he knew he could get hurt.

So he’d settled in bed with a book and Loki’s head on his lap, and now he read quietly while he curled his fingers in Loki’s hair, petting him lovingly. They used to do this as kids, only Loki was the one usually reading out loud, making voices for both of their amusement. That was before Thor had started joining the other warriors for what at the time seemed like more exciting plans, and had thoughtlessly made fun of Loki’s bookish habits for the very first time. His brother had never allowed the possibility to come again, the reading sessions had been effectively over from that point on. Thor had missed these peaceful moments desperately.

He feels a deep contentment spreading through his limbs, that he is so fortunate to get to have this again. His fingers move on their own accord to explore Loki’s features as he continues reading, as if he hadn’t memorised every single freckle in his skin already, like he didn’t know by heart the exact shade of his hair or the line of his jaw. Eventually he finds Loki’s slightly parted lips and he doesn’t think before sliding two fingers inside, happy to let them rest there, protected. But slowly he gets distracted from his book and without a real plan of action he starts pumping the fingers in and out, and then tries spreading Loki’s mouth wide open, experimentally, just to see how much it gives.

His pants suddenly feel tight.

He throws the book to the side and it clatters to the ground with a thud. Loki’s mouth is responding to the intrusion filling up with saliva and there is a very clear picture in his mind now.

He gets on his knees and pulls the covers down, drinking in the sight as he starts rubbing himself through his clothes, it’s always so easy to get hard for his brother. Loki is already naked from his earlier explorations and the sight of him knocks his breath out every time, he can never get enough. He pinches Loki’s nipples playfully and cups both sides of his torso in his hands with a pensive hum.

“Look at you, Loki, you’re getting so thin. Soon I’ll be able to see the bones through your skin. I know they’re feeding you but it doesn’t seem to be enough for you.”

He sighs.

“Don’t worry, brother, I have thought of something to give you.”

He shifts Loki on the bed, letting his head fall back off the edge of the mattress and standing up in front of him. He forces his mouth open with his fingers again and it stays parted at just the right level. Before he knows it his cock is out of his pants and the tip pushes inside the welcoming heat, only managing to get part of the way inside and rock his hips awkwardly a few of times before spilling. He can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed about it.

And, well, they have time to try again.

He massages Loki’s throat to help him swallow all his spend and then cleans what remains on his cock against the soft cheek.

The next time is better. He fills his mouth fully but stays away from the tempting throat for the moment, rocking his hips very slow, groaning when he sees the bulge it creates on Loki’s cheeks. He helps him swallow the next load as well.

He barely even goes soft.

He sets a small pillow under Loki’s neck and this time he dares slide all the way down, gasping at the unbearable pressure around his cock, forcing his hips to still least he hurts Loki. He is big, but Loki is taking him as deliciously as always, his little brother so open for him in ways he couldn’t have ever imagined. Saliva starts dripping off the corners of his mouth when he starts thrusting, and the blood is pooling down in his face. He looks messy and flushed, and utterly beautiful. Thor hates the idea of anyone else getting to see him like this, if he could keep Loki for himself forever he would, and he would take such good care of him. He pumps faster, holding Loki’s face and neck in his hands, and he comes when he looks down and sees his own shape moving in and out through the thin skin of Loki’s neck.

He loses count after that, but every time he urges his brother to drink it all up and then he kneels down to whisper praise in his ear. He's not sure why he didn't think of this before, the tightness of Loki's throat contracting around him is unbelievable, and just the thought of being so deep inside of him makes his legs shake. He feels drained and unsteady when he finally lies down to sleep, but Loki has a beautiful blush on his face and his arms are as welcoming as always.

*

He is training the very next day when a guard storms into the field, interrupting his bout with Volstagg.

“Your highness,” he starts without any further pleasantries, “Prince Loki is awake.”

The entire world stops for a second. Thor can barely hear his friends’ voices urging him to go past the buzzing in his ears.

He doesn’t know how he makes his way to the royal ward, but when he opens the door it’s Loki’s open, shiny green eyes that greet him, along with a sweet smile.

“Thor!”

He reminds himself to breathe.

Loki is smiling at him, warm. He wouldn’t be if he knew. If he remembered. So all must be well.

“Brother,” he sighs as he walks to his side and hugs him desperately tight. For the first time in months Loki’s arms reciprocate, pressing him just as close, and he is burning in every point of contact. “Norns, Loki, what _happened_ to you?” he asks once he convinces himself to untangle. “We didn’t know if you were attacked, had no idea what to do to help… How are you feeling?”

“I am well,” Loki says. “And Eir says everything seems normal with me,” he adds with a nod, and only then Thor realises that they’re not alone in the room, their mother and Eir look at them fondly from the foot of the bed.

“Well, I’m… I’m so relieved, Loki. At times I feared you would never wake.”

Frigga sits on the other side of the bed, and all of a sudden Thor can tell how much the worry for her youngest son had weighted on her - her face has cleared and her smile brightens her expression. She’d been so composed the entire time, and him too concerned with his own ventures to pay too much attention to how his family was dealing. Now she looks light and younger and Thor almost feels guilty for neglecting her so much the past few weeks.

“Loki was about to tell us what happened to him when you arrived,” she prompts kindly.

“It was just an idiotic mistake,” Loki scuffs. “I was trying a potion, and I believe one of the ingredients was corrupted… or possibly I just didn’t prepare it properly. In any case, I am so sorry to have worried you so much, mother.”

“Prince Thor, if I may,” Eir’s voice comes from his back, and the three of them turn in her direction. “We aren’t sure why Prince Loki has woken up. Since you have been the one caring for the young prince, have you done anything different than usual, that might have sparked his recovery?”

His body tenses instantly, but he’s become good at hiding what went on inside this room, and it doesn’t show in his face.

“Nothing that I can think of, Eir. I have no knowledge of medicine."

“Oh, of course, I know, I just wondered… Your magic of fertility is, in a way, life magic as well. I thought perhaps a blessing from you, or maybe simple proximity… But do not concern yourself with that now, it was just a theory.”

Thor swallows dry, and wonders.

“I merely prayed that he would come back to us as soon as possible, Eir. I am grateful that the Norns have listened.”

“The effects of the root probably took a while to be purged from my body,” Loki suggests. “I simply needed time to recover. You need to tell me all that I have missed now, of course,” he tells Thor with a smile.

Frigga suggests they do so in her garden, and the three of them make their way downstairs, Loki comfortably seated in a wheelchair that Thor pushes along. They take turns filling him in on all the palace gossip and it is lovely to see Loki laughing again, after remaining expressionless for so long. Thor can’t stop teasing him and he delights in every response, every sunshine smile he gets, every time Loki teases back with that bite he so missed.

It also makes his nerves settle when it becomes obvious that Loki indeed doesn’t remember anything he was told —or that was done to him— during his sleep. He can rest knowing that his brother is healthy again, and things can go back to normal.

*

They see less of each other during the following week than Thor expected. The leniency that had been granted to him during Loki’s illness in regards to his own responsibilities is suddenly gone, and he is swallowed by all the paperwork and meetings that he had been carelessly neglecting.

And he doesn’t really go out of his way to seek Loki out, either.

He is delighted to see his brother well again. He had missed him, of course, seeing him everyday was not enough, not when he couldn’t hear his voice, listen to his clever commentary, or bribe him into accompanying him in yet another reckless trip. Not despite how pleasurable the time they spent together was.

But… Loki’s condition had seemed so hopeless that he had, he supposed, assumed he would have more time. Enough opportunities to sate himself, and take all he wanted from his body. Now it feels like he had just started to discover an endless ocean of possibilities. A treacherous, twisted part of himself mourns what he has lost, and he feels more guilty about those thoughts than he does for everything he did to Loki.

Loki's own behaviour around him makes him uneasy as well. His brother is nothing but warm with him, and for the first time in years seems eager to initiate contact. But Thor has caught him often looking at him from the corner of his eye, and he sometimes seems so skittish when they are alone together. He can do nothing but remind himself that the other shoe should have dropped by now if it was going to, and try not to push his brother away.

Now that he’s had him, he can’t stand the idea of growing apart again.

*

He goes to him one evening. It’s early, but Loki is already tucked in bed when Thor knocks on the door and is allowed entry. Loki seems happy enough to see him, so he walks in and sits on the bed.

“You seem tired. Everything okay, little brother?”

“I am tired,” Loki sighs. “I have trouble falling asleep. I suppose my body has had enough rest to last a lifetime and now rebels against me if I try to lie still for too long.” He looks down to his hands, twisting them anxiously. “And I’ve been having some weird dreams,” he adds as an afterthought, still not looking at him. “Vivid ones. They’ve made my sleep… unrestful.”

Thor’s mouth speaks on its own, while he sits up in rigid panic.

“Dreams?”

“It’s stupid,” Loki blurts out, suddenly energised again and finally looking up. “They’re really nothing to be worried about. I guess my head got more messed up than we first thought. I’m sure they will stop soon enough." He has flushed a lovely pink. “Even if they don’t, it’s not like they’re the first… I can deal with them. It’s fine,” he finishes, not meeting Thor’s eyes.

Then he sighs.

“And… I’ve been unfair to you too, Thor. I’ve been feeling a bit out of it, and I fear I might have come across as distant,” he reaches out to take Thor’s hand with a smile. “They tell me you were out of your mind with worry,” he teases, and then, more seriously. “And that you took better care of me than any nurse ever could. I am very grateful, brother. I know we haven’t been as close as we used to.”

“We can't be so distant that I would stop caring about you,” he forces past the unpleasant lump he feels in his throat. “I know I wasn’t thinking rationally. But I was so scared to lose you, Loki.”

“I am glad you kept me company. You were living here while I was sick, right?” Thor nods. “Maybe I can’t sleep well because I miss you,” Loki says, not quite managing to make it sound like a joke.

Thor hesitates, and knows he should take his leave now. Knows he’s taking too many risks already.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Loki’s flush turns red and he avoids his eyes. “Would you?”

And Thor is lost yet again, despite his better instincts.

“Oh, Loki. Of course I would, baby brother. Anything for you.”

Loki doesn’t reply, but he moves away in the bed making room for Thor to join him and gives him a nervous glance. Thor is still wearing his clothes, but he doesn’t want to do anything that might ruin the fragile balance of the moment. He swiftly takes off his boots and slides under the covers, offering his open arms to Loki and holding in a sigh when his brother’s bird weight sets softly on the side of his chest.

“Thank you,” he feels the muffled words vibrating just under his neck.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll be happy to do it, always,” he replies closing his eyes. “Try to sleep, baby.”

Loki cuddles closer and breathes against his chest with a satisfied sound. His lips brush against the delicate skin above the neck of his shirt, and then they press down in a slow, hesitant kiss. Thor swallows down compulsively and tightens his hold, but Loki doesn’t do anything else but mutter, “Good night, Thor.”

He counts a few breathes, tries to quiet his heart.

“Good night, Loki.”

His eyes stay open wide even as Loki’s body shifts up and down with his breathing, progressively slower and more relaxed. He feels him draw even closer, and he can do nothing but will himself to stay still. After all that has happened, it seems impossible that curled together like this, it takes Loki no time at all to fall asleep in Thor’s arms. 

Thor can only hold him tight.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I need to say this but... please don't ever consider having sex with a sleeping person, if that person hasn't given explicit consent to that very particular situation.  
> I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to yell in my direction over at [tumblr](impalaforthree.tumblr.com).


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